If MetallicA were food, I'd stuff my face silly.If MetallicA were alcohol, I'd be drunk all day.If MetallicA was a country, I'd live in it.If MetallicA were a religion, I would join and start going to church.If MetallicA was a bed, I'd sleep in it forever.If MetallicA were clothes, I'd wear as many as I can.If MetallicA was a colour, my house would be that colour.If MetallicA was a bad word, then I'd swear nonstop.If MetallicA was a car, I'd drive it.If MetallicA was a flower, I'd have a field full of them.If MetallicA became President/Prime Minister, I'd vote for them.If MetallicA turned into water, I'd drown myself in it.If MetallicA was sex I'd fuck all day
If James Hetfield was a lolly pop I'd suck it 24/7If James Hetfield was wrapping paper I'd be wrapped 24/7If James Hetfield was milk I'd bathe in it 24/7If James Hetfiled was chocolate I'd allow myself a migraine 24/7
If metclub was on fire I'd watch it burn.If metclub was a grave I'd dance on it.If metclub was drowning I'd walk away and let it drown.If metclub was in the middle of the road I'd run it over.If metclub was choking I'd let it choke.
If you have five dollars and James Hetfield has five dollars, James Hetfield has more money than you.There is no 'ctrl' button on James Hetfield computer. James Hetfield is always in control.Apple pays James Hetfield 99 cents every time he listens to a song.James Hetfield can sneeze with his eyes open.James Hetfield can eat just one Lay's potato chip.James Hetfield is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.James Hetfield destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.James Hetfield can kill two stones with one bird.James Hetfield counted to infinity - twice. Lightning never strikes twice because James Hetfield is looking for it. James hetfield is worth more than a bird in the hand or 2 in the bush put together. When James Hetfield swims he doesnt get wet the water gets James Hetfield Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. James Hetfield bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.James Hetfield once had unprotected sex with Nicole Kidman. 9 months later, Nicole Kidman gave birth to a Ford Excursion Thunder = James Hetfield performing from halfway around the globe. James Hetfield just found out he has a baby brother. His name is Jack BauerThe boogie man checks under his bed and in his closet at night for James Hetfield.James Hetfield doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.James Hetfield doesn't sleep - he waits James Hetfield once had sex in a tractor. Some of the sperm got lost in the engine. We know that tractor today as Optimus Prime James Hetfield doesn't cut his grass, he goes outside and dares it to grow.Broke-back mountain is not a movie, it's a pile of dead ninjas in James Hetfield's backyard. Jesus is the Son of God (...Presumably)God is the Son of James Hetfield (fact) James Hetfield ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got oneJames Hetfield sleeps with the light on because the dark is afraid of him.When James hetfield wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken. When James Hetfield wants to go fishing he doesn't need a boat. He simply parts the sea.James Hetfield doesn't eat honey, he chews on bees.James doesn't need to use a toilet cuz the world is his s**t holeJames is the cure for cancerJames can't be killed by conventional weapons That wasn't an earthquake, San Francisco, that was just "a little" jump made by James Hetfield at a Metallica gig.James Hetfield "Rides The Lightning" instead of roller coasters.James Hetfield IS St Anger When James Hetfield learned to speak his first words were "Let there be light" and then..you know.. there was light. When James Farts, You Apologize. Showing off, horses say they're hung like James Hetfield.James Hetfield doesn't sing, he scares the mic into making noise. James Hetfield isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like James Hetfield.James Hetfield once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.James Hetfield is the reason why Waldo is hiding.Superman wears James Hetfield pajamas when he goes to sleep. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for James Hetfield.They once made a James Hetfield toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody. James Hetfield does not strum the guitar strings, the strings quiver in fear.Everytime James Hetfield screams "YEAH!" a kittens head explodes.James Hetfield is suing MGM for using his likeness in their logo. James Hetfield did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never seen James Hetfield. James Hetfield is impervious to disease and thus has only been witnessed sneezing a handful of times his entire life. Last time he sneezed Death Magnetic came out.When the military needs am executive order to eliminate terrorists they call James Hetfield. His one and only response is, "Kill 'em all." James Hetfield sleeps with a pillow under his gun. James Hetfield can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.James Hetfield doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.James Hetfield can slam a revolving door. James Hetfield does not get frostbite. James Hetfield bites frost By Law:In Washington D.C., buildings cannot be taller than The Capital Building...In San Francisco, buildings cannot be taller than James Hetfield.NASA got rid of its space program, if they want to know what's going on "up there," they call James Hetfield. Most people know how to piss their name in the snow, james hetfield can piss his name in concrete. James Hetfield beat the sun in a staring contest. James Hetfield wears Paul O'Connell P.J's!James Hetfield is noted for how much blood he donates at the red cross, just not his own. When James Hetfield goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. 70% of the earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by James Hetfield.Either of James Hetfield's eyebrows, when raised, have been known to get signed confessions out of the guilty and innocent alike. If Arnold Schwarzenegger saw James Hetfield he wouldn't be back! James promised Arnold Schwarzenegger he'd kill him last. He lied. James Hetfield once rocked a McDonalds so hard it turned into a Wendys. When they were touring the midwest in a bus Tornados would let Hetfield go by them!When John Wayne met James Hetfield he answered, "Yes Sir, Mr.Hetfield," then promptly pissed his pants as he scurried away to fetch, Mr.Hetfield an ice cold beverage. James Hetfield once round house kicked Chuck Norris. James hetfield makes onions cry Peppers jump out of James Hetfield's mouth because HE'S too hot.James Hetfield CAN believe its not butter. James Hetfield once killed a man for looking at his shoes. The power wasn't restored in the Northeast Blackout of 2003 until after James Hetfield let out his signature "YEAH!" at the request of the American and Canadian governments.How about, Ghosts don't haunt James. He haunts THEM!James Hetfield gives nightmares NIGHTMARES....James Hetfield's idea of Kool-Aid is Gas-O-leen............ The Boogie Man fears James Hetfield!God had to rest on the 7th day because on the 8th he said, Let there be JAMES HETFIELD!!!! James Hetfield has never been Rick Roll'd. some men shit bricks.. James Hetfield shits gold bricks. :) Mr. T pitties the fool, James Hetfield pitties Mr. TJames Hetfield can touch MC HammerJames Hetfield eats lightning and craps thunder.Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth... James Hetfield was born with a golden guitar pick clutched in his hand.(Good thing for his mother he wasn't born with a guitar, too, eh? LMAO!) James Hetfield's guitar weighs 5000 lbs and the guitar strings are more lethal than barbed wire laced with cyanide-Every time James Hetfield plays Master of Puppets, somewhere, somehow a random cocaine addict dies-At every concert James Hetfield plays at, he has to set his amp's volume under 1% or the venue would explode-James Hetfield has an IQ of between 385 and 500,894,542-James Hetfield has his own metal detector at every airport because all the metal in his veins would set any regular one off within 5 feet of walking adjacent to it.-James Hetfield once played a 20 minute guitar solo with one hand on a triple neck guitar with 24 strings per neck-James Hetfield can play all 9 of Beethoven's symphonies and complete the 10th one using a guitar hero controller-James Hetfield can send an entire nation running by saying "boo"-James Hetfield had his vocal chords removed to keep people's brains from imploding-God prays to James Hetfield -James Hetfield doesn't use drums, he just waves his finger around creating a sonic boom-When Chuck Norris goes to a private club, the doorkeeper asks for his invitation. When James Hetfield goes to a private club, the doorkeeper asks for his autograph.-James Hetfield has 5 lungs and an extra hand in his beard James Hetfield doesn't walk on the ground the ground walks for him James Hetfield is the final destination of male evolution. James Hetfield's amps go up to eleven. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Hetfieldtatorship.Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching Hetfield perform Master of Puppets on Satellite TV.James Hetfield is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Scientists used to think that the tides were caused by the moon. Recent studies have now revealed that in fact, they are caused by the gravitational pull of James Hetfield's beard.James Hetfield once punched Shamu in the face for splashing water near him.The dinosaurs are extinct because James Hetfield used his guitar to travel back in time and eat them. James Hetfield's testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: Seek and Destroy. When James Hetfield kicks someone, their entire family and evey ancestor feels it. James Hetfield is always watching. James Hetfield chops mirrors on his breakfast. James Hetfield is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in James Hetfield's nutsack.Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, James Hetfield got an award for masturbating in public.James Hetfield does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it. James Hetfield played such an amazing show in Moscow that the military stopped beating the fans, put down their batons and rocked out.(Pure fact)James Hetfield kept hikers off of his property not with a fence, but with his power stance.James Hetfield doesn't use a gun to go hunting. James Hetfield uses his teeth.James Hetfield kicked Apollo 11 to the moon. He was only an infant at the time.James Hetfield sleeps upside down using a pull up bar.James Hetfield's sperm cannot enter a woman's uterus or else they will shoot through her abdomen. James Hetfield carries his children in his mouth.Whenever James Hetfield screams "FIRE" during blackened, all of the Earth's volcanoes erupt.James Hetfield doesn't buy guitar strings, he pulls metal bars with his teeth until they become as thick as a string. The reason why newborn baby's cry? They know they entered a world with James hetfield!-James Hetfield can't donate his blood because mercury is poisonous-James Hetfield almost chopped his own fingers off with a butcher knife by accident once, but the blade just melted into the shape of his fingers-James Hetfield has to use a guillotine to cut his finger nails-The Germans surrenderred in WWII when they heard James Hetfield was about to be drafted into the armyJames Hetfield can summon fire to shoot out of the stage whenever he says "FIRE!" James Hetfield uses a lawnmower to trim his beard. James Hetfield can read outloud from a blank book and receit a new bible James Hetfield's heart doesn't skip a beat when he sneezes. James never misses a beat. James Hetfield's amps are the reason Beethoven went deafJesus found out James Hetfield was in town. He nailed himself to the cross to save James the trouble.James Hetfield won a game of connect four in 3 movesA handicapped sign in a parking spot does not mean handicapped people can park there. It's James hetfields spot and the sign is a warning that if you park there, he'll fuck you up.James Hetfields dog picks up it's own shit because James Hetfield doesn't take shit!!!James Hetfield knows what Willis was talking aboutJames Hetfield doesn't own a house. he walks into random houses and people move.James Hetfield can blow bubbles with beef jerkyGod said "Let there be light" and James Hetfield said "Say please"Everybody Loves Raymond, except James Hetfield, so they canceled it.James Hetfield invented water. James Hetfield knows the last digit of Pi and all the others before it-James Hetfield can divide by zero-James Hetfield can simply walk into Mordor-James Hetfield has more than 9 lives-James Hetfield once stood at the end of India and sneezed. India then collided with Asia and formed the Himilayas-When Jules double dared James Hetfield to say what again, he did and left the building with Jules' gun-James Hetfield's toilet has never backed up because he doesn't take shit-James Hetfield once took a girl's virginity by shaking her hand-James Hetfield once played a note so high that it shattered paperJames Hetfield is like a video game with cheats... He enables invincibility at will. James Hetfield knows how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop James Hetfield impregnated Mary by dreaming of a virgin.-James Hetfield didn't like the order of the alphabet...seen your keyboard lately? Yeah.-James Hetfield once beat his head on a wall and East and West Germany became one.James Hetfield once thought of running for president, but wasn't allowed because he'd kick every bodies ass. When James Hetfield pushes a door marked "pull", it still opens. James Hetfield saved 15% or more by switching to Geico. On the Judas Kiss when James Hetfield says "I'm your new God now" he ain't joking. James Hetfield is so badass...He can eat Checker pieces and shit out a Chess board. james hetfield doesnt buy leather pants, he makes his own buy yelling at animals that you make leather things out of and they get scared so bad that they literally jump out of their skin and then he sews them into pants with a sewing machine that he got from the store that cool rock stars go to buy stuff. james hetfield is the master of the master of puppetsjames hetfield doesnt ride the lightning, he makes itjames hetfield doesnt get tattoos, his skin grows themjames hetfield's right hand is actually a rampant rabbit in disguise James Hetfield is a weapon of mass destruction. James Hetfield sweats liquid metal and pure testosterone.James Hetfield takes his baths in a volcano.James Hetfield doesn't paint his walls, he just stares at them and they change to the color he wants.There's no such thing as earthquakes, just James Hetfield rocking out.James Hetfield doesn't wear deodorant, body odor is too scared to get anywhere near him.James Hetfield can run faster than the speed of light.James Hetfield once took a vacation to the center of the sun. Upon his return, he was heard saying "It just wasn't hot enough there."When James Hetfield's car runs out of gas, he just sings a part of Fuel and it starts back up again.Scientists have recently discovered that Hurricanes are actually caused by James Hetfield sneezing.James Hetfield was the original choice for Mission Impossible, until he completed it in 15 seconds. James shaves his beard with a chainsaw!!when James breaths it causes gale force winds God regrets that he send Jesus instead of James Hetfield, every day.James Hetfield is an important ingrediens in every healthy meal.James Hetfield is what JD in Scrubs dreams about.When you have sex with your wife, James Hetfield is the one she thinks about...and so do you James Hetfield doesn't age. He just experiments on time. Mother Nature checks the James Hetfield forecast before going out. James Hetfield is the reason Robert Irvine was fired from Dinner: Impossible... Seeing as James made it Dinner: Possible. James Hetfield wakes up with morning steel.James Hetfield's cowboy boots are made out of real cowboys.James Hetfield invented eating pussy.James Hetfield can bench the sun. James Hetfield didn't go to rehab for alcohol addiction, alcohol went to rehab for a James Hetfield addiction.Lady Justice was raped by James Hetfield, although James Hetfield says, "You can't rape the willing"Cyanide - not only is it a song, but it's also James Hetfield's beverage of choiceThe cover of Ride The Lightning features James Hetfield's favorite easy chairFor James Hetfield's victims, death IS the end!James Hetfield was NEVER born for dying!Death Magnetic doesn't clip - there is just no recording equipment or stereos in existence that can handle the almighty James Hetfield sound!James Hetfield changed the So What lyrics to "I spit nails, I eat glass, I kick Chuck Norris' fucking ASS! So What!!"James Hetfield once won a nuclear bomb eating contest.Everybody knows that on the first day, God said "Let there be light". But what few people know is that James Hetfield's nickname back then was "Light". James Hetfield doesn't use condoms. The fetus aborts itself because it don't wanna mess with Papa Het. James Hetfield doesn't need to worry about rush hour. He dares people to cut him off. James's beard has it's own gravitational field. long time ago a dinosaur stepped on james' foot, the rest is history... James Hetfield does not use condoms, because there is no condom strong enough or big enough to contain him. Anyone who tells James Hetfield that Mama Said is a pussy country song is considered suicidal.James Hetfield can find 2,586 things on stage to kill you with - including the stage itself!James Hetfield refers to his penis as "The Thing That SHOULD Be" If James Hetfield disagrees with you it's because you are wrong. James Hetfield didn't blew his voice recording The Black Album. Notes just became to afraid to come out of his youth. Whence God almighty demanded "let there be light!"James the Mighty Hetfield cut in straight away and said "Hit the Lights!"Thus, creating night and day. James Hetfields Calander goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no-one fools James Hetfield! James Hetfield DOES have weapons of mass destruction!James Hetfield never really did cut his hair, it just fell out because its scared of him.James Hetfield can eat poop and LIVE. The bear James killed on that hunting trip in SKOM was not killed with a gun.James yelled "Hey!" and the bear died instantly of a heart attack. James is so badass he makes me pay child support for HIS kids.James can cook minute rice in 15 secondsSatan is James Hetfield's waterboy. When James Hetfield picks his nose, he really does find gold.James Hetfield doesn't believe in god. God believes in James Hetfield.Anyone can piss on the floor, but James Hetfield can shit on the ceiling. James Hetfield doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks Dos Equis.James Hetfield fights fire WITH fire! James brushes his teeth with bleachJames' smile can make blind people see again Whenever the red moon arrives, James Hetfield somehow changes himself to 1991 Hetfield with the exact black vest and hair...He then haunts and terrorizes people listening to his iPod "Wherever I May Roam" and "All Nightmare Long" in a loop...When he terrorizes enough people, he then goes back to his bed, changes back to the Grease Hair lightning Hetfield of today and considers whether to dye his goatee or not. When James Hetfield flips you off he's telling you how many seconds you have left.There was an extinct species once found in James Hetfield's Goatee. Clutched in the grasp of his 3rd fist.When James Hetfield comes to a redlight.................Oh wait James Hetfield can't come to a redlight. They see him coming and make sure they're green before-hand.We know why the dinosaurs were wiped out, one day James Hetfield was shredding so fast that he went faster than the speed of light and went back and time, he continued to shred and the dinosaurs couldn't take the intensity and were obliviated.There is a speed beyond the speed of light it is called:James Hetfield When James eats the crunch can be heard from MarsJames eats nails for breakfast...without any milk!James Hetfield does not do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down!If James Hetfield is running late, time better slow the fuck down!James Hetfield knows what you did last summer.When James Hetfield breaks a mirror he eats it for breakfast.James Hetfield eats oysters and shits pearls, not jasonIt's always James Hetfield time.James Hetfield doesn't use a remote control, he just says GO!James Hetfield is the President of the World.james hetfield IS the sandman James is my father If something taste like chicken smells like chicken and james said its beef believe him .james doesnt vote only HE decides who wins . chuck norris wears james hetfield pyjamess....James Hetfield aced all his college exams by writing a big "42" on the first page. The professors changed the solutions to each question accordingly. James Hetfield IS the thing that should not beJames Hetfield anwered to the call of Ktulu James Hetfield's left eye is the Eye of Sauron, his other is the Eye of the Beholder. When James decides to "Seek and Destroy" the whole world, it will be "Too Late Too Late" before we find a "Cure" we will all be "Broken Beat and Scarred." There is no "Escape", it will definitely be "The End of the Line."for James, it will be "My World" and he will bring us all back to life, as his "Metal Millita." All this will happen... Shortly. Unfortunately it is "Sad but True." Some say James Hetfield's testicals have their own gravity field...If James Hetfield has an opinion, it's a fact James Hetfield didn't go through puberty, puberty went through James Hetfield.James Hetfield named the album "ride the lightning" after the first time he had sex. The earth is tilted 23.5 degrees because James Hetfiled is on this side of it.McDonalds always keeps a fresh lobster on hand in case James Hetfield shows up.James Hetfield killed SupermanJames Hetfield is the reason "meat n' potatoes" is a North American staple.James Hetfield doesn't just make history.... history is modified to please him.James Hetfield eats oysters and shits out pearls, not JasonJames Hetfield is Blue SteelJames Hetfield knows what you did last summer
When James Hetfield breaks a mirror he eats it for breakfast.It's always James Hetfield time.James Hetfield doesn't use a remote control, he just says GO!James Hetfield is the President of the World.james hetfield IS the sandman If something taste like chicken smells like chicken and james said its beef believe him .james doesnt vote only HE decides who wins . chuck norris wears james hetfield pyjamess....James Hetfield aced all his college exams by writing a big "42" on the first page. The professors changed the solutions to each question accordingly. James Hetfield IS the thing that should not beJames Hetfield anwered to the call of Ktulu James Hetfield's left eye is the Eye of Sauron, his other is the Eye of the Beholder. When James decides to "Seek and Destroy" the whole world, it will be "Too Late Too Late" before we find a "Cure" we will all be "Broken Beat and Scarred." There is no "Escape", it will definitely be "The End of the Line."for James, it will be "My World" and he will bring us all back to life, as his "Metal Millita." All this will happen... Shortly. Unfortunately it is "Sad but True." Some say James Hetfield's testicals have their own gravity field...If James Hetfield has an opinion, it's a fact James Hetfield didn't go through puberty, puberty went through James Hetfield.James Hetfield named the album "ride the lightning" after the first time he had sex. The earth is tilted 23.5 degrees because James Hetfiled is on this side of it.McDonalds always keeps a fresh lobster on hand in case James Hetfield shows up.James Hetfield killed SupermanJames Hetfield is the reason "meat n' potatoes" is a North American staple.James Hetfield doesn't just make history.... history is modified to please him.
when I tell you to make a list of 20 different bands you can only name 4 bands and you mention Metallica twice.
when you can go through an entire, intelligent conversation with nothing but quotes from Metallica songs...
when you have to ad an "a" to the end of "metallic" anytime it appears in your science book....or any other thing for that matter
When one of your friends says " Off to never , never land " . You begin to sing the rest of Enter Sandman .
When you start putting bits of Metallica song lyrics into your every day conversations.
When you compare a Metallica song with a relationship you have with someone .
When you put Metallica in as much of school work as you can .
When all you get for your birthday is Metallica stuff
When you talk about yourself , you allways mention that you like Metallica
when the metallica underwear isn't available and a metallica fan dude buys a metallica thong (or even a fucking g-string .. if they are also available) just to have something to wear downstairs ..
When you yell "Yeah" in a Papa Het fashion when things are great
When you yell "Fuck" in a Lars fashion ala SKOM when things are bad
When you can name all of the band members' kids and consider their names for naming your own child
When you can name every album, the year it was released, the songs on the album by track order, the producers, and where they were recorded without looking at the booklets
When you start renaming things released by Metallica
when your buddy is complaining about his Girlfriend you yell out "it ain't my bitcha!
When your driving along in the car with your parents and you tell them some facts about metallica eventhough they don't care.
when they say a relative or friend got hut badly, and you say "Ya so did Hetfield a few years ago!"
when you start killing people and calling yourself the master of puppets!
when you think hetfield is the name of a rehab clinic.
when you think denmark is another word for metaldrummers.
when you sing a kirk hammet solo you also try to include the wah wah pedal.
when you think st. anger was a demo tape.
whenever you hear the word metallica in the past 2 years it's about the new album........
When your bedroom walls are full of Metallica's members' feet posters
When you hear some music you assume to be Metallica, you tell everybody to Shut The Fuck Up!
When you start a thread about it...
When you call Kirk "Kirkadon".
When any time you hear a familiar word from a metallica lyric you break right into singing the song
When you spend 500 bucks on Kirks used sweaty gym socks
When you start calling your mom James.
This woman came in for a meeting and I had to put her in a different boardroom than she is used to and she goes, "different view". I automatically go, "Open mind for a different view".
when you actually think they are better than Megadeth.
when you say to your husband:
"shut the fuck up james talking on tv"
when somebody says a quote from one of their songs without realizing it and then you start singing that part
when you totally memorized lars' drumming tracks.
when you, for no reason (and without music) start to air drum Wherever I May Roam...
... your phone is full of Metallica ringtones, and when the phone rings you're too busy singing and playing air guitar to the tune to actually answer it.
... you start/participate in/read/laugh at Metallica pie song-threads.
When you're a girl and you try to grow a beard as cool as Hetfields.
when you actually start to say fock instead of fuck.
when your neck is sore from headbanging
when you hear "teketeketek" and you immediately think at the intro of One.
when you don't want to leave the bar (café) if they are playing metallica music
when you grab a guitar, the first thing you play is something from metallica
When you start to here the opening, eeeeehhhh, to blackened for know reason.
when staying up until 4 am just because you love listening even though you start work in 2 hours time and will have to be there for 10 hours at least but dont give a shit because metallica are just so damn fucking good!
When someone tells you they sleep with one eye open, and you immediately think of Enter Sandman.
When you see a frozen lake, you think of "trapped under ice"
when you get into an area that is really quiet and u can hear that faint ringing noise in your ears you think of For Whom The Bell Tolls and the "hear the silence so loud" part.
when you hear the pop cover of Nothing Else Matters [possibly by christina agaisdfusdfifla] and actually get angry cos you know metallica gave whoever the rights to cover it.....
when you actually start sleeping with one eye open.
Laughing at my cries!
when all u can draw is james....
when u rehearse all the drumbeats from every album with ur teeth all day long......... well at least i do
when I see the word "Metallic" anywhere,and just automatically think of the A at the end
You know you've listened to too much Metallica when your cds are worn out
When all you do is make fun of them and put them down, and start disrespecting them, after everything that they have done in their career, and you just eventually get sick of having anything to do with them after the Napster fiasco, and start believing the joke that "Trivium is going to be the next Metallica", and you have a punk rock obsessed bitch as a friend who has only 2 favorite songs, and screws the rest of them by listening to retarted, over-rated "Hardcore Punk" bullshit!!
Or if one of us calls the other a bastard:
"Bastard! Bastard!"
when you hear a metallica song and totally forget about the people around you
when you say "Fuck yeah" while not having sex
when you just cant stop listening to the ecstasy of gold's cover!
WHEN YOU WATCH TV AND SOMETHING COMES ON ABOUT PRISON, AND ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS THE END BIT OF "ESCAPE" WITH THE SIRENS...OR IS THAT JUST ME.......
When you're driving and the only thing that will pop into your head is Wherver I May Roam
When your mom is yelling at you to throw out the trash, and she says "Do As I Say" and you yell back : "NOT AS I DOAAAH"
When you write a great riff only to find out its the same as a Metallica riff you've never heard before.
When someone asks you what music you listen to and all you can think of is Metallica.
When you're wearing a Master of Puppets t-shirt and someone asks you to turn around so they can read the names of the songs, and you simply dictate the names of the songs to them in order.
when you base friendships on whether they like Metallica or not.
When you've been listening to too much Metallica.
When you hear the first three seconds of "When the children cry,"
and all you can think of is "To Live Is to Die."
When you have "So what" for your ring tone and the phone rings in class and you look around and your teacher is just fucking stunned....but you look at all the students and like 4 of them are looking at you with their horns up...fuck man.....ive had my cell phone taken away like twice because of that.
when you have to drink your own piss just to stay alive because your to lazy to walk to the fridge to get a can of coke because you have been listening to metallica for the past 4 years locked up in your fuckin room
when you start singing Am I Evil around your mom haha
When you go onto the biography channel or much more music hoping there doing a biography on Metallica
when your driving down the street and your bored so you yell out the window "Metallicaaaa wooohh!!" and scare the shit outa people
When you make a thread drunk like "Metallica = Satan" and tell how much you love the band..
When you hear Metallica songs in your head over and over again.
When someone tries to communicate with you and you start singing Metallica with no response.
When you wake up, seek for updates, listen to Metallica a while and then make coffee afterwards.
when you like st. anger, just because metallica made it
when you start explaining the history of metallica to someone, when that someone gets bored, you continue telling the story to someone else, just to get it done (fuck, I've actually done that)
when you have all the CD's and DVD's exept St. Anger, and you have 6 T-shirts, 2 sweaters, a necklace, a banner, dogtags and when people around you start to actually call you "Metallica"
When you often see a member of Metallica in your dreams!
How about if you hear one of your Metallica ringtones in your car and turn the volume up on your radio??!!
when you sing the four horsemen as loud as you can when you blow dry your hair
when you sweep the floor and it starts to sound like metallica in your head...
when you tell your mom everything you know about metallica and you force your friends to watch cliff 'em all.
when your name is willow and you write it with upsidedown metallica m's
when you have "enter sandman" on your pillowcase.
when you sing karaoke and begin emitting random grunts and growls to give the song more punch
When you start dropping glasses of champagne in art galleries
When you get tired of them stop listening to their songs
When the first thing that comes in your thoughts is Lars, after seeing the Napster logo.
There's a Metallica playlist in your iPod
when you dream that they are doing the Damaged Justice Tour for the 21st century and you are there, plus they do an R&B version of Sad But True(Kirk sings background ad libs).
when you make a thread about how you listen to too much metallica
A "fortune fame, mirror vain, gone insane... " as soon as you step in front of the mirror, anyone?
I batter that Frantic drumming on anything all the time. If there's an awkward silence, it won't be long 'til there's a dadadadadadadaDA from me...
You play the "instrumental game" with friends, consisting of stupid imitations of Metallica riffs/drumming/etc.... - "DADADEENEENOW, DADADEENEENOW... " "I got this, I got this! Enter Sandman!"
You wear your Metallica t-shirt for days on end and are brought to the brink of tears when you eventually must wash it.
I put prank calls to Metallica songs
You'd rather start reminiscing sentences off with "the memory remains when... " than "hey do you remember when...!"
When I try to grow a beard as cool as Hetfields.
Also, when your notes from your college lessons are riddled with tabs for Metallica songs.
If I had to do my exams all over, I couldnt tell you anything Einstein ever said, but I could memorise the tab for MoP in my head.
When you air-guitar like Hetfield or Kirk.
when your nine years old and start quoting 'tallica lyrics in her English essays!
When you meet people and your first question is do they like metallica.
when you make it a ritual to play tuesdays gone on Wednesday!
When you've been checked into rehab for "Metallica Adiction" instead of drugs or alcoho
When you look for people wearing Metallica shirts in TV and movies. BTW, one of the guys girlsfriends in the show My Boys wears a Metallica shirt.
When you have two copies of every Metallica CD so you can have a backup and one you listen to.
When you own St. Anger just so you can say you have all Metallica's albums.
When all of your shirts are Metallica shirts.
When you relate Metallica to anything anyone says about any band.
When you wear more than 3 Metallica items at one time.
when you play the dirty window riff with your fingers on the kitchen table while you are eating dinner!
imagine them playing it in the oscars!!!!!!!! Damn
When you had $300, now all you have is a load of cd's, dvd's and other merchandise
when i drive my car i start to sing: GIMME FUEL GIMME FIRE GIMME THAT WICH I DESIRE!
when i write my name with Hetfield in the end
Whenever I saw the word "kirke", which is Norwegian for "church", I would immediately think of Kirk. Or whenever I'd hear words that had something to do with one of their lyrics, like "should not be" or something like that, I'd start singing on that song
when the side of a lighter says metallica so you scratch "a" then some one scratches "latic" beside it so you put another "a" beside that METALLICALATICA
You've ever peed the Metallica ninja star logo into the snow.
You know how to pronounce Ktulu without sounding like a drunk Hawaiian.
You've been referred to as That guy/girl who likes Metallica
When I start listening to St Anger.....
there is never too much.
you can identify virtually every metallica song within 5 seconds of the song's play.
you can string together an entire conversation using phrases from songs.
When you know every riff, drum beat, live solo, live fill, ever change in variation in voice based on time period, tom placement due to time period, tune due to time period....basically when you can evolve your own singing, air guitaring, and air drumming to EVERY time the song was played...
when you can pick out a dull "for whom the bell tolls" in the stadium while watching NFL on tv
When you buy a pair of black jeans that says metallica on the ass pocket
When you are in work and you start singing the beginning rythmn part of creepin death.
When you or two of your work colleagues refer creeping death as their work song (basically interperting the 1st line from creeping death as the situation in your work place i.e "slaves hebrews born to serve"means the workers)
When you say FOCK!
When someone says they are helpless you scream helpless at them like hetfield
When you sing the riff of for whom the bell tolls to someone who is in trouble
When you think your boss looks like lars
When you won't throw out music magazines that are five years old because they contain the name metallica in one sentence of the whole magazine
When you are asked to put price labels on items at work and you start to sing "You labled meaw,I'll label youaw!"
When you try to get your boss to like metallica.
When your name begins with M and you write that M in the metallica way on all your signatures
When you randomly start singing die!die!die!at work
When your boss callls you Metallica instead of your real name.
When you meet the members of KIllswitch Engage and the first question you ask them is "SO,do any of you like Metallica??"
When you sometimes think cher is trying to rip off the hetfield voice.
when you are a girl and can start to sing the same as Hetfield
When you say "YEAH!" like hetfield
When you work at a fuel station and you sing fuel at work and fuel is the ringtone on your phone
When you want "MY BODY LIES BUT STILL I ROAM!"written on your headstone.
When you hear a metallica song in an advert and you go crazy!
When someone is looking to buy a pack of batteries and you are singing BATT-TERR-RYY!! while serving them.
When you want a whole setlist of Metallica songs played at both your wedding and funeral
When you start saying at work that you are have to leave at four and nobody can discuss you or anything you have done all day after you are gone.
When you decide to make a banner and send it to metallica fans all over the world.
When you learn nothing but Metallica on your guitar
When nearly every shirt you have has Metallica written on it.
When you own a Metallica Keyring
When you buy Metallica Christmas decorations
When you have a Metallica alarm clock
When you have Metallica tattoed onto your wrist
When you walk on the beach and write "Metallica was here" in the sand
When you go onto the internet the first thing you do is come onto the Metallcia site
When all you ask for Christmas each year is a certain danish drummer who is 5'7 and who you want all to yourself
When you annoy the fuck out of friends to the point where they hate Metallica. And also if you have dreams about playing a guitar solo with Kirk in Germany (even though I'm in Washington state Germany still rules!) in front of 100,000 people, and then after that you go back stage and eat donuts and drink "kool-aid" with them and then follow them for the rest of tour.
You follow them everywhere they go next tour leaving your whole life behind and living out of a suit case for the next 2-18 months.
you're sitting at your computer right now trying to learn AJFA
When you can easily remember the artwork, tracks, order of tracks, time length of tracks, release date, producer, line-up, location of recording and lyrics to every song on every album.
Too much METALLICA? Are you serious? It's possible to listen to too much METALLICA...........
when you are with freinds who dont even like them and you hear them or see them on tv/radio and feel that you must point out that its metallica
"when your friend's got a car accident and the only thing you can answer is:sad but true"
"when you are collecting stuff that metallica had ever touched"
"when you tatoo james' head on your dick"
when your 5 yr old daughter goes and cries in her room when you want to listen to MOP and she wants to listen to TBA and then shouts at you that when she's famous she wont let you meet James and the lads.
when your wife divorces you because of it and you dont give a shit anyway cause she lied about being a fan and now you also have more Tallica time (unspoilt ). MY METALLICA ... MINE.... MINE.... ALL MIIIIINE ..... HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA ! ! ! !.. Oh Fock ~ She's back. shit.
When you meet trucks here in Luxemburg with this M E T A L I C A (construction or something) written on 'em and you show horns to the truck drivers every time they drive by...
When your neighbour texts you "enough with the Master of Puppets" from next door.
when you read that and think "Oooooo don't do that to Dave Mustaine he wouldn't like it"
when you correct people correcting people on what to call james' hair.
When your friends that don't like Metallica want you to see a specialist for your obsessiveness.....
You dressed up as Cliff Burton for Halloween and you loved the outfit sooo much that you wear it to school as often as you can.
When you dream that you are actually hanging out with the Metallica guys and you're talking like you're best friends.
AND... here's the freaky part:
You were dressed as Cliff Burton!
I'm not making this up. It happened twice
You watched Cliff'em all three times in the two days you had it and forced your mom to watch it once.
You force your ceramics teacher to play your Metallica CDs in the CD player in class everyday and throw a fit when he finally puts in his music.
You can't survive a three minute drive to the store without your Metallica CDs.
You constantly think about all the Metallica members, how they're all doing, what kind of day they had, and what their opinions of things would be.
example-- I wonder if Kirk would like this enchilada I'm eating...
When you think your dad is like James, mom is like Lars, you are like Kirk, and your best friend is like Robert.
when you sit at the computer in your Ride the Lightning Pajama pants when every poem you write is either to Metallica, to a specific member of Metallica, or has to do with Metallica in some strange way.
When you search for them on tickmaster just too see if they got tix even though you know they arent touring.
When you gota wake up at 9 oclock because a toe truck driver is coming to pick up your car to get it fixed. And you gota get your CD's out of your trunk and hes curious to see what your listening to so you say MetallicA. And you offer to put it in for him while he hoists the car and hes like Fuck Yeah! in his thick european accent haha
true story it happend on Monday.
when you wear your favorite Metallica T shirt for your school photo
write MetallicA everywhere around my school...then I go back to the place where I wrote it to see if anyone put "sucks" after where I wrote it then I cross out "sucks"
When you have the words "shortest Straw" on your underwear.
When one of your friends says something like "man I need batteries" and you sing Battery in your head
When everytime you get in a fight with someone you walk away singing ''Ain't My Bitch''
To pass the time in a plane you sing EVERY Metallica song in your head starting with Hit the Lights
when you only play Met, on your computer and when you try to qualify people between:
1. He's like Lars..
2. Fuck that, that's so James..
3. Don't act like Mustaine.
4. You look like Robert
5. You talk just like Jason
6. You just did what Kirk did on SKOM..
And things like that...
when u and your buddy spend's two hours trying to get james hetfield's phone number from the phone company from new brunswick(canada)
When you dream about Kirk and James teaching you how to play guitar.
when you have a complete conversation with The band when they aren't even around, as if they were you imaginary friends.... but there not.... it's worse when you provide them with Pepsi and show them to the bathroom .
When you scream Metallica at the top of your lungs in the middle of wal mart and nobody notices.... because you do it so often the regulars are used to it......
When someone says Sad but True and you think of the song, Or when your sad but true and start singing the song
When you desperately save money in order to get a Metallica Mousepad.... When you spend all your spare time trying to play Metallica songs on your guitar
when you have withdrawal symptoms after not listening to them for long periods
when you can't have withdrawal symptoms because you never stop listening to Metallica in the first place
when your stuck playing video games by yourself and start naming cpu characters James, Lars, Kirk, Rob, Jason, Cliff, and Dave Mustaine
When you know every line of Metallica commentary off the Some Kind Of Monster movie
When you wish you had dreams about Metallica concerts
When you try to use psychic powers on them to see what's going on XD
when their songs are stuck so profoundly in your head that you can't get rid of them
When you envy someone for having Ride the Lightning Pajamas
when all conversations you have are about metallica.
imic facial expressions of Kirk hammett when in a conversation
when you get mad when someone says Metallica isn't their favorite band (Sad But True, I dub them unforgiven
when you find it very sad when people take breaks from listening to Metallica
you know you listen to too much metallica when you mix their names
Lars Trujillo
James Ulrich
Rob Hammett
Kirk Hetfield
You know you try to act like Kirk Hammett while playing guitar or well while TRYING to play guitar.
when you dream about having the new album
when you shake with excitement when you find Load at wal mart
When you name your character in Oblivion Kirk Hammett
When you can't afford Metallica shirts so you draw the logo on a shirt you already have!
when you zone out for hours thinking of what Metallica could be doing at that moment.
when someone talks about voodoo and you start singing Fixxxer
When you have a nightmare about being trapped under ice
when you go fishin and name each fish you catch after James, Kirk, Jason, and Lars.
When the phone rings and you immediately assume that it 's the call of Ktulu
when you terrorize Telemarketers by putting the phone to your stereo and turn it up to max while listening to Master Of Puppets.
when you make a ritual of play Enter Sandman before you go to bed
when you kill sims for not liking their Music.
When your referred to as The Thing That Should Not Be
When you freeze yourself in your bathtub so can be Trapped Under Ice
When you plan on Getting a Mp3 player just to put metallica on it
when you enjoy using song and/or Album titles in speech.
When you wish you had your own Teleporter so you could invade Metallica's Studio to see what they were up to.
when you go into seizures after not listening to at least one of their songs for 24 hours
When you answer The Call of Ktulu to Escape the Creeping death Of Wolf and Man
When you watch Some Kind of Monster, and find yourself yelling at James and Lars during their fights
When you hear Church bells going off and start singing For Whom The Bell Tolls
When you play Turn The Page while reading a book
When you try to check yourself into Rehab claiming you are addicted to Metallica
When you consider joining metclub just to tell them about this thread so they can check it out if they haven't already
When you get thrown out of a courtroom for singing And Justice For All
You have neck aches from bangin' yer head so much!
Whenever someone says a word or phrase that is used in a Metallica song and you immediately begin to sing the song.
when you confuse your sandwich with james' signature.......I was talking to a friend and everytime he finished a sentence i would talk something about metallica
when you r trying to buy ''ride the lightning'' and when u have the mony they dont have da cd or when u see the cd u dont have mony and five years have past an you still CANT FUCKING BUY DA CD BECAUSE U CANT FIND IT!!! and because u dont have the FUCKING MONEY!!tar
Whenever a member of Metallica is on tv you talk to them like there your friends and you try to feed them through the television
*holding spoon of applesauce to screen*
Here you go James
*Lars comes on*
NO! Lars you already had yours
When you refer December 31st as Dyers Eve
When you see a puppet master at a fair... need I say more?
If you have 4 versions of almost every song (S&M, Live shit, Seattle. etc)
When you tell your friend your going to the mall and he says "Why are you going there? Theres no Metallica there"
On the RPG Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion your custom class is the Hetfield class.
when u go to macdonalds and u see those straws they got and the first thing that comes into your head is "THE SHORTEST STRAW"
when you see a fire and you want to jump in to it.
When your watching the weather report on tv when there is a hurricane, and the person says "the eye of the hurricane", and all you can think of is "Eye Of The Beholder"
When you get the chourus out of "Purify" stuck in your head for weeks and weeks. Damn i cant get this song outta my head, I love to hate it
When you read the little booklets that come with the albums every night before you go to bed.
When you actually have the dream that guy has in the "enter sandman" music video.
When you brush your teeth with engine oil, so you can have Motorbreath
When you cant walk past a light without hitting it.
When you know the meanings to all the songs on "St Anger", even "Purify".
when you call christmas eve and new years eve "Dyers Eve"
When you cry during "Orion" and "To Live Is To Die"...
when you start calling Metallica.. 'tellica. i mean.. WHAT IS THAT!..
you do a search for METALLICA on google earth... sigh...
when you see an Australian commercial for Victoria Bitter on TV and swear you see a pic of Kirk Hammett..... oh the pain...
When people use Metallica as a suffix to yer name to identify you when you share a name with another guy.
e.g. A: I met Dan the other day
B: Which Dan?
A: Dan Metallica
When you dream you on stage with them performing
When you see someone turn a page of a book you start singing turn the page.
When and go to the doctors and say you want your anger to be healthy.
When everything you hum is Metallica songs.
when you walk down the halls at school air guitaring disposable heros
When you have about 22 different versions of For Whom The Bell Tolls (I reckon there's people over here that have more, y'know, live shows etc.).
When you see the infamous "WWJD" And you wonder- what would James do?
When I see any word from a metallica song which i start singing instantly i.e the word struggle turns into the struggle within
When I start drawing on a sheet of paper then notice all i wrote was the word metallica and metallica lyrics
when i see an ad on the tv which says "her smile is so metallic" and i automatically add an a on the end.
your chiropractic appointments are scheduled more often... from headbanging
There's no such thing as too much Metallica
When you start listening to Megadeath
...when you actually start liking Metallica again
whenever you go to type metallic and you type Metallica
When your sitting in class and you find yourself writting MetallicA logos on your books
When you start using "um" and "you know" a lot more and you notice you're saying "Fock" instead of "Fuck"
When your ears start to hurt.
when you have all metallica albums + live albums and some livemetallica recordings and some bootlegs on you mp3 player. (thats me)
When you break 2 thermometers in sciece class cos you were using them as drumsticks to play Creeping Death...
When you ask your Science teacher "How does it feel to be alive?"
My science teachers a metalhead so he naturally shouted "SHOW ME!" while the rest of the class stared at us....
When someone turns the lights off you sing hit the lights
I occasionlly do the hetfield "YEAH!"
a few years ago i found a battery and started poking my friend with it while quoting lyrics from "Battery"!
these are the lines i said..i think.
"Smashing through the boundaries"!
"Pounding out aggression"!
"Cannot stop the Battery"!
"Whipping up a fury, Dominating flurry"!
I got my (then 2yo) sister to dance the CANNIBAL CORPSE!!
When someone tells you.. "you're wrong" or something like "you're sick in the head" then you scream "FIX ME BABY!"
Well.. the other day I was at my high school and took a friend tamagotchi, i pressed the "Reset" button and screamed "SAY GOODBYE!! YEAAH WOO OOH!" like Fade to Black.. she was like :shock:
I was playing creeping death in my acoustic guitar and told my nephews to scream DIE DIE DIE!
Oh.. when I was learning how to drive, I had Motorbreath in my head all the fucking day, actually I think that was the reason I decided to tell em' i wanted to drive like NOW! I NEED IT! I was obsessed with the song
When in the middle of a discussion with your girlfriend you use Metallica lyrics, shoot me again.
I was playing creeping death in my acoustic guitar and told my nephews to scream DIE DIE DIE!>>
LMAO My sons do that when I play Creeping Death it drives thier mother crazy.
they are not good .......
They are GREAT!
the greatest band in the world
the best band in the universe
the group that all these shitty little groups wanna be when they grow up
They are a MAN's band
your '91 poster of James talks to you lol
when you talk so much about MetallicA that your parents threaten to disown you... at age 12... true story.... lol... that was almost 5 years ago!
When you walk past a little kid's sandbox and think of Enter Sandman
when you murder everybody at your work/school wearing a metallica t shirt and screaming DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!
When everything that are related with Metallica will be used with all of your passwords
When you could have an entire conversation using mostly quotes from SKOM and Year and a Half. Sad (but True)
When you think about Metallica 25/7.
When your friends hate Metallica just beacuse you have overplayed them or just to be a pain in the ass.
When you wear Metallica-shirts almost everyday of the year.
You air drum so often that if you got a drum kit u wouldnt need any lesssons to start playing some of the best songs in the world
I'm not sure there is such a thing as "too much Metallica!!"
Well, except maybe when you are comparing certain aspects of your life rather vividly next to certain Justice songs, then maybe just a wee bit.
when you right in permanent marker metallica songs all over your school
when u wont go to ur schools prom because they refused to have any Metallica on the music list
when ur always on the lookout for people wearing metallica stuff
when u see metallic paint, u only think of metallica
when u do an entire class project in Metallica 80's font
also if u know ur about to die, u take a look to the sky
When you listen to 8 hours straight
My ears are bleeding (me)
When you walk past a teacher in the street and he/she laughs at you because you're headbanging.
when your voice starts to sound a little bit like James Hetfield's
when people tell you you've been listening to too much Metallica
when you start writing Em instead of Them in your classwork books
when for a question you get the first word and the word is fire and you write out the chorus to Blackened
When you can bring up an imaginary Winamp in your head and select a Metallica song and hear it in your head. Then when someone says something it stops your song and you get annoyed
When you wake up and just without any reason, you start to listen to any Metallica song in your mind all day long
when someone mentions a song you like, you kind of a switch the "Morning Song" for the other one...
When they retire, hopefully til' death, you'll be probably in a Sanitarium....
When you do somethin' wrong and somethin' people don't like, so you scream the most hardly you can, SO FUCKIN' WHAT!!!
When you spend a day without listening to them and you can almost cry and you think about "...Burning in my brain" (FFWF)...and you dream about anything Metallica...
1. When you do something wrong or bad and people don't like it so you ask them: "Am I Evil?", and if you keep doing it and people keeps bothering you, you scream at them "So Fuckin' What!?".
2. When your going to bed and you need to turn the lights off, you say "Hit The Lights".
3. When you say good bye by saying "Metal Up Your Ass".
4. When you know for whom the bells are tolling.
5. When something bad happens to you so you think "That Was The Thing That Shouldn't Have Been" and "It's Sad, But True".
6. When you're going out and suddenly you think: "Here I Am, On The Road Again..."
When you actually think that Metallica should give a price or something to the guy who invented this forum 'cause hell it's long...
When you saw Ktulu on the Orion's constellation with your telescope
When you go to your Music Library and the only artist named is Metallica....
when you have 213 songs..and they're all Metallica.
While playing my friend's Wii, I went to the Mii Channel (you get to make little cartoon people) and made "Hetfield," "Ulrich," "Hammett," and "Trujillo." Then I made "Mustaine." Little Mii Lars looked just like the Lars in the music video for St. Anger (with the little beanie hat thing).
When you give James Hetfield's mullet a name
When you envy someone for having Ride the Lightning boxer shorts.
If you have a dream about Metallica while in that dream a Metallica song is playing in your head. (not me)
When you wear bell-bottoms and/or a jean jacket every day at school even if it has food & blood on it and smells like shit (yeah me, but it DOES get washed
when you call people Metallica songs instead of there names
Someone tells you to turn off the lights then you start singing Hit The Lights
you are reading Revelations and then you start singing The Four Horsemen
you drink gasoline then you start singing Motorbreath
Someone pushes you into a fire then you start singing Jump In The Fire
you are at the dentists office and in your sleep you hear Anthesia (Pulling Teeth)
you are on a merry-go-round and it stops and snaps your neck back then you sing Whiplash
you see the words Phantom Lord and you start singing Phantom Lord
in the middle of beating the shit out of someone you sing No Remorse
you hear the Diamond Head song "Dead Reckoning" and you start singing Seek And Destroy
you hear an army marching you sing Metal Militia
you see theres a nuclear bomb in your basement you sing Fight Fire With Fire
you are "in the mood" during a thunderstorm you sing Ride The Lightning
At 12:00 when the church bells go off you sing For Whom The Bell Tolls
Before a movie starts then the lights turn dim then you think of Fade To Black
While walking on a pond, you fall in and cant get out you sing Trapped Under Ice
In jail you try to remember if there is a Metallica song about escaping jail
After seeing "The Ten Commandments" you sing Creeping Death
youre reading a book about wierd water things that live near a town you sing all of The Call Of Ktulu
you smash a camera and battery acid pours on you you sing Battery
you see the name Metallica you think of Master Of Puppets
you read "Shadow Over Innsmouth" you sing The Thing That Should Not Be
you read "One Flew Over The Cucoos Nest" you sing Sanitarium (Welcome Home)
During a war you start singing Disposable Heros
you see Jim and Tammy Fey Baker and you start singing Leper Messiah
someone yells "Oh Ryan!" you start singing Orion
you feel like breaking or hurting someone you sing Damage Inc.
you see a nuclear blow-up and you sing Blackened
you see Al Pacino's list of film and you start singing ...And Justice For All
you watch Black Christmas and while the person is holding the eyes you sing Eye Of The Beholder
Someone asks you the question 2-1=? and you start singing One
you are drawing straws for some reason you start singing Shortest Straw
If you are a drunk, snap and start killing your family, and you sing Harvester Of Sorrow
If you cut a rope and you start singing The Frayed Ends Of Sanity
If you see Excalibur then you start singing To Live Is To Die
you are pissed at your parents and you sing Dyers Eve
Before you sleep you sing Enter Sandman
you get an S.T.I. you sing Sad But True
you are at church you start singing Holier Than Thou
someone steps on the back of your shoe then you sing The Unforgiven
If you are travelling and you sing Wherever I May Roam
the musical by "The Westside Story" called "I Like To Be In America" is playing you sing Don't Tread on Me
for no reason you start singing Through the Never
you think about your ex and you sing Nothing Else Matters
you hear a wolf howl and you sing Of Wolf And Man
you shoot off a rifle and you start singing The God That Failed
you have a friend who is sad you sing My Friend of Misery
you are emo then you sing The Struggle Within
you dont care about something you sing Ain't My Bitch
you are in a woodworking class you start singing 2 x 4
you hear the Jack & Jill nursery rhyme you start singing The House That Jack Built
If you have a baby and you keep singing Until It Sleeps until it actually sleeps
someone wins the lottery but then it was a mix-up between the numbers and you start singing King Nothing
you see Chuck Norris and you sing Hero of the Day
you are bleeding and you sing Bleeding Me
your in a difficult situation and you sing Cure
you buy licorice you sing Poor Twisted Me
If you hate someone for a stupid reason you sing Wasting My Hate
Your Mom calls up to you for supper and you sing Mama Said
After falling in a thorn bush you sing Thorn Within
you name your kid ronnie and you start singing Ronnie
After seeing a western movie you sing The Outlaw Torn
you are driving in a car and you sing Fuel
After you see"The Misfits"you sing The Memory Remains
After watching Tenacious D's video"Tribute" you sing Devil's Dance
you are listening to "The Unforgiven" you sing The Unforgiven II
After winning a hockey game you sing Better Than You
you see Velvet Revolver's song name, you start singing Metallica's Slither
your Mom tells you to get out and seize the day you start singing Carpe Diem Baby
you hear about Adam and Eve you sing Bad Seed
an ad shows a pair of boxers you sing Where the Wild Things Are
you see the frog prince you sing Prince Charming
You sing Low Man's Lyric after seing a hobo
Your mom says you're rude and you start singing Attitude
you see his username and you start singing Fixxxer
On St.Patricks Day you sing No Leaf Clover
You enter - human into a math problem and you start singing Minus Human
When you are in the middle of a panic attack and you sing Frantic
When you see St. _______ and you always think of St.Anger and sing it (or you think St.Anger was a saint)
You see Fankenstien and sing Some Kind of Monster
You sing Dirty Window when you look at one in your house
You see a ghost movie and sing Invisible Kid
On Earth Day you sing My World
In a gang fight you sing Shoot Me Again
At your wedding you sing Sweet Amber (even though your wifes name is different)
When you sing The Unnamed Feeling after you finished your once-and-only expierence with X-Lax
You sing Purify and claim it their best song
You hear the word "kill" and sing All Within My Hands
When you have 213 songs on your ipod, and 100 of them is only Metallica.
when u use math and statistics to prove they didn't sell-out yes there IS a thread about that
When you read post by post 15 pages of one thread on the metallica message board!
wen u post in a topic called "You know you've been listening to too much Metallica when..."
when you check the website every single day in hopes of finding updates about anything...
when you've heard so many times metallica's overplayed songs that you just avoid listening to these songs
when you like everything and everyone who says the slightest negative comment about the band it bothers the hell outta you.
I dunno but for me whenever i see a word simmilar to "Metallica" i instantly remember the band
every time you eat cake, you think of the little boy who prays in Enter Sandman.
You get in trouble for drumming a song on a desk/table (one)
You drop everything and begin headbanging, air guitar/drums, lipsinking, or stomping around if a Metallica song plays on a radio.
When you think Metallica are still good
When you can hear the bass in the ...And Justice For All album cuz youv been listning to it over and over non stop every day
When you get "Purify" stuck in your head every night when you lay in bed...
When you can play the solo from "Ride The Lightning" on a acoustic guitar...
Hey Duder... i know i have been listening to tooo much metallica when... it's all i can think about...
you happily quote them on a day to day basis... james and his many words... (Yeah, duder, Man, to name a few...) Lars with his infamous Fffuuuuccckkkk....
u air gutar along with kirk and play drums with Lars. occationally at the same time... while driving... bad habit... dont try this at home kiddies
u know all of their birthdays.
u visit the website as often as possible and headband in the shower while ur singing Metallica songs...
When you see a nightmare nothing having a ticket for the show.
When you have a full 30GB MP3 Player, yet you spend all your time, listining to the Metallica folder on random
You start a topic called "You know you've been listening to too much Metallica when..."
THIS IS ONE WEIRD...When you are coughing in the rhytm of don't tread on me...
like:cough,cough,cough and then you add cough cough
When you look in your cd book and every cd is a Metallica cd
when you go to bed you say "off to never never land
when you sell half of your computer to get the money to see metallica live
when your gf starts calling you o'tallica.. as my name begins with o
when you got over 30 bootlegs of different metallica gigs
when you get shot and you just go: "Shoot me again I ain't dead yet!"
When you buy the "Darwin Awards" dvd just for the 3 minutes that Metallica appear in the movie... And what a crappy film...
when you are planning the growth of a Jaymz early 90's mullet.
when you correct people on what to call james hair.
When you begin using song titles as phrases in casual conversation.
I have hetfield, ulrich, hammet and rob (and also mustaine) as Sims! its soo much fun, Ive made them a recording studio lol! and it just rocks to make dave and james or lars annoy each other (im so evil)
when you get so bored in class you start singing "shoot me again i aint dead yet" imitating James' facial expressions.
When you surround yourself by metallica fans, (my best friend, my boyfriend n my classmate)
When you watch live performances so much you know what they're gonna say and when
When you freak out and turn around at the slightest mention of Metallica
When you have all the Metallica dicography on your iPod and listen to through out it everyday
When you know the exact time (in minutes) at which the slow part of To live Is To die begings, and when it ends
When you try to get your mother into metallica
When you listen to Metallica on the school bus/car and lipsync (yes the solos, I do the whole thing like waah wahh when he's using the pedal lool) or mimic Kirk's solos
When you almost faint when you see a person wearing a Metallica Tshirt you don't own and wanna steal it
When you have a fight with a guy at a merch check who wouldn't sell the Metallica fabric pos
When you go absolutly insane cuz MoP was on TV (a Angel commercial)
when you /care bout James' hair or beard
when your dreams get metallica songs as their soundtrack
i saw a pub today called 'harvester' so i thought of harvester of sorrow straight away lol
when even your parents now know all the words!
when you accuse hetfield being the father of your baby
when you fart master of puppets
when your on your period you think of bleeding me
when you have a hair clippings of robert truijilo
when you have sex with your gf you make her call you kirk, you call her lars
-you think you know the band personally
-you light yourself on fire ( inside joke )
-your in a gang called ktulus
-you know what a ktulu is
when you try to convert your priest into listening to metallica , dont ask
When your footsteps start to sound like Lars' drums on Master of Puppets? ;)
when you actually ignore the person talking and keep on listening to the imaginary Winamp, with the 'Tallica on.
When you air drum to songs
when these 4 things happen or at least 1 of the 4:
1. u air guitar/air drum and lip sinc or sing along to the song
2. u have everything metallica on ur comp and i mean icons, backgrounds, screensavers and even on ur cel too!
3. u dream of hanging out with metallica and turn ur head at the saying of metal/meta/metalli/met/anything similar to the band name metallica or a song name)
4. ur friends scoff at ur obsession of metallica
you try and ride the lightning more than once
you stay up all night with a shotgun waiting for the sandman
when you rush to the canteen like theres no tomorrow just because the canteen has metallica songs playing over the p.a.
...hmm making most of room metallica related...air guitaring to songs...imagining metallica songs playing in my head...have almost all of metallica songs...
when u spend all class posting on this forum when a comp is near....no im not doing that now *whistles innocently and walks away
when u howl along with james in the middle of "of wolf and man" as well as make that woooo-wo-wo-woo-wooo noise at the end as well
when u listen to metallica on ur mp3 player during a class where the teacher says he will confiscate any mp3 players he sees
when u make the guitar noises with ur mouth as u air guitar solos
when ppl suggest u go to therapy and try and get u to stop listening to metallica or see or avoid anything metallica related
When your friends literally leave your home because they are sick of watching 5 or six hours of Metallica movies straight.
When you steal your gf's Metallica shirt even though it's about 32 sizes too small. (I'm not fat, she's really skinny)
When you make your gf buy a Metallica t-shirt so she can represent (And subsequently steal it)
Out of the 10 cds in your car visor 11 of them are Metallica
You can defy logic and have 11 of 10 cd's.
When you name your daughter Metallica.
when you're in the magazine section in a store. and you and your friends leave. but you say "HANG ON, METALLICA" when you randomly caught a tiny picture of james hetfield on a guitar magazine about 10 feet away.
when you are certain that "King Nothing" is about Mustaine
When you are working on a Political Communication research project and decide to do something that has to do with others listening to Metallica songs and analizying their political content!!
I still can't believe the professor let me do that! He's cool!
Hmm, i consistently fart Dirty Window... guess im a noob
On wrestling games where you can make your own characters, I allways make every member of the old Metallica with Cliff, and then I make Megadeth. And then I make them fight eachother, and Metallica always wins.....
When you know what James is talking about when he says something about "Dancing with Skeletons" in "Purify"
when u r conversing wid ur girlfriend,ur stating the quotes from metallica's lyrics inbetween the sente
when it's 02:20AM, you are in this message board using your mobile phone, becouse everyone is sleeping... oh and when you start thinking "man, its good to live in one planet with metallica" or "I wonder what James is doing right now"
when you headbang while washing hands like i did today, when i got back from school :D
When you watch an entire VH1 countdown of shit, just in hope to see ONE metallica song.
When most of your favorite videos on YouTube is about Metallica.
you pay for their music
When you get irate cuz your girlfriend dosent understand that "alcoholica" is a joke name for Metallica.
when you angrily yell "so fucking what?!"
When you misinterpret Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance music riff as a riff from a Load song
When you know what does "EET FUK" stand for. I still don't know what it is!!! Argh!
When you wear shades just to copy the load era or saint anger look
When you sing songs form ...AJFA during history class
When beating someone in chess, you go
"Where's your crown, King Nothing?"
when i stopped at a red traffic light with my kids in the car. a car runs up the arse of my car. i opened the door and screamed at her "poor twisted me"
You dream you are having cybersex with Metallica,
When the only thing your five year old niece remembers from childhood that relates to you is yelling "Metallica!" and giving you the horns.
when you feel like they are the only ones who can relate to you...because they have been there done that.
your driving down the M6 in Birmingham UK and you notice there's Metallistars on the power cables near the power station:
when this happens....
MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,
MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,
MetallicA,MetallicA,MetallicA,.........................
When you wake up with Master of Puppets going through your head.
Or you have nightmares about Kthulu torturing you.
You know it's too much when you see a Oompa Loopa on TV and call it, Lars!
When you're standing in line buying groceries and start singing, "Master, Master"....
You have long hair, only to get a haircut because James did during the load era.
You wear a denim jacket, a Misfits shirt and bell bottoms day in day out, because Cliff did.
Your dad knows what MOP or SKOM stands for.
You keep comparing your own friends to Metallica band members.
You force feed Metallica music to your parents and eventually make them buy TBA.
Your parents know who Flemming Rasmussen is.
You watch the movie "The Unforgiven" over and over just to see if the song really isn't in it.
You write EET FUK on your guitar.
You know the exact length of every Met song.
You try to sing like James did on RTL and find out you can't, so you start getting excited because you think it sounds like him post-TBA.
You think you know how big Lars' feet are.
when u understand ones more metallica is ur lover and best friend and always near u no matter people come and go
when we have a metallica tatoo
when we drink heineken, just because james appears to be drinking it on stage (cliff'em all)
when you say to evereyone that don't know how cliff died
when you do everything to go to a metallica concert
when you buy everything with the name metallica
when you want to sing, play like the members
when you say "YEAH" to everything and everyone
when you draw metallica album art work
when, in my case, translate metallica lyrics
when you name your son/daugther metallica!
When you stab your best friend in the leg 3 times for insulting "Ride the lightening"
When you think the word "metallic" just doesn't sound right without the a on the end
When you download the originals of Metallicas cover songs to compare how much better Metallica's version is.
- You bought a six speaker surround sound system just so you can play Metallica on it
- You named your cat cliff
- Your dog left you because you were too busy on forums like these to play with it
- The neighbours now don't care when you start playing Metallica
- Your sister listens to MCR just to annoy you
- Your in a group convo with five metalheads and a new person joins, sees what you're talking about and shouts out "Metallica suck!" just for the responses
You have withdrawals during dinner..
Your Sister demands that your parents lock away your albums.
You can have a deep and meaningful discussion with the band members in your sleep.
All the people around you now like Metallica
You listen to AJFA and TBA untill it sleeps while the devils dance and your mind fades to black whilst they welcome you home to the sanitarium and the leper messiah preeches - I just had to do that lol.
You've exhausted every great Metallica song, and rather than listen to the Loads, Reload, or St. Anger, you have a listen to the masterpiece called United Abominations.
when you check the metallica homepage EVERY DAY expecting there to be something other than "A Quote From Lars." Jesus tap-dancing Christ, its been over a month!
you know wheN you are driving somewhere and you are lost and the only thing that comes to mind is WHEREVER I MAY ROAM..........
When you refer to your penis as The Thing That Should Not Be
When u have 2000 songs on ur mp3 and all u listen to is metallica! Also when you quote their song names in conversation
i know i listened to too much metallica, because metallica is part of my life since 22 years ago and will be for the rest of my life...that's all.
when you actually Load your gun, Kill'em All, going to ReLoad and going to Ride the lighting as your punishment.
When you drum Metallica songs on your desk with your fingers all day long.
When you listen to KILL'EM ALL to fall asleep.
When Lars Ulrich comes over to tell you to "turn the f*cking stereo down!"
When your listening to their songs and nothing else matters
when you try to look like them, or you try to be them, or you think you are them
when sum one says they cant sleep and u start singing Enter Sandman or this is worse youll be in church and they'll be talkin bout the plagues and moses stuff and Creeping Death pops in your head
when you're watching TV and an add comes on for a car with metallic paint and all you can think of is Metallica.
or you're in conversation with someone and they're telling you something terrible and you start singing 'sad but true'
when you're watching Home and Away, one of the actors last name is wakefield or something like that, and I had to look twice coz I thought it said Hetfield lol...
I was running a word game activity, we had to find words from these particular 9 letters, I found the word 'Price' and then started singing 'and justice for all...'
when someone is playing Sudeki on the xbox and you think you saw the ...and justice for all statue as one of the monsters
when you're watching an Australian show like the Countdown Spectacular and you start thinking I wonder what that song would sound like if Metallica did a cover of it.
when you think everyone likes metallica and assume that everyone at a shopping centre is wearing a metallica t-shirt
when you log on to metallica.com threads to have conversations with strangers about Metallica and you'll read anything about them, you may not agree with what is said, but you have to read it anywa
When your computer is down and all you can think about is how much metallica news you're missing out on, coz the media don't care here in Australia. Yep, for me, the dying of my computer was all about how cut off from Metallica I was
And when you start writing stories, long enough to be novels about Metallica while you're waiting for your computer to be fixed.
you know you've been listening to too much metallica when you search the internet everytime you log on for more photos, quotes anything on metallica and fill your hard drive space with it.
when you realise you are obsessed with Metallica!
When you introduce yourself as Cheryle Metallica
when you log onto metallica.com to view recent posts to your threads and when you can't find them you panic and think that metallica is upset with you and you start wondering what on earth you could have done to upset them, I mean who upsets
M E T A L L I C A
you only look for Metallica CD's in every music store, Metallica Books in every book store, Metallica T-shirts in every clothes store, Metallica Posters in any store that sells posters, anything metallica anywhere, and you ask in any store 'does it come in Metallica?'
When you're buying an ice cream and you're asked what flavour do you want and you say 'MetallicA'
When someone asks what you're favourite colour is and you say 'MetallicA'
When you work at McDonalds and you say to the customer 'would you like metallica with that?'
When a sales person asks you if they can help you and you say 'do you have this in MetallicA?
When you order a side of metallica with your meal
When you're at the garden section and you ask the assistant for a metallica plant
When you order every metallica book ever been published
When someone offers you a lolly and you say 'can I have the metallica one?'
When you're in the supermarket and you ask where the metallica isle is
When you're at the pub and you're asked what will you have and you say Metalli
when you swear you see the word M E T A L L I C A everywhere
when you turn your loungeroom into a metallica poster studio
when you won't let this thread die
When you collect as many new clothes and items with Metallica logos on them for your Sims
When you start analyzing why a user chose that particular name and you're amused by one in particular 'JHKHRTLU' and work out that Lars is last
When you get excited because MetallicA was mentioned anywhere, anytime, by anyone
When you think you have the right to tell MetallicA off for anything
when you love looking at what others post on "You know you've been listening to too much Metallica when..."
You know you've been listening to too much metallica when you look or listen for any signs of metallica in the movie you're watching or the tv show you're watching
I know I've been listening to too much metallica when I literally have to hide my cd's from myself and wean myself off metallica to save myself from laying awake all night playing the songs over and over and over in my head, and making up stories about how I can meet Metallica
When your friends start calling you a metallica nut, a metallica head, and a metallica freak
and you read these threads over and over again and never get bored of them
When you wish you lived in the same country as Metallica so you could see them, at least once, anywhere
when you're watching Rove and one of his side kicks does a story on Metallica, and you're like, oh my god did you see that, and you start texting everyone!!!
When you won't let this thread die, coz you need the outlet!
When you want to name your son Ronnie (and we all know about Ronnie)
when you want to name a child 'One'
When you wish your name was Amber, so that James can sing to you 'ooh Sweet Amber, how sweet are you?'
When you get excited coz your neighbours are playing a MetallicA song!
When you expect James to be the lead singer of any band, and you look at the radio with absolute confusion because some other singer in singing, even though it's not MetallicA
when you constantly yell at the tv "MetallicA!" "James Hetfield!" "Lars Ulrich!" "Kirk Hammett!" "Cliff Burton!"
"Jason Newstead!" "you call those drums? Lars Ulrich has a better drum set than that!" "And the winner is, MetallicA!"
"Where's the MetallicA category?" "play a MetallicA video" "ask MetallicA to be on the show!" "why don't they ever pick MetallicA?" What about MetallicA?" "Where's MetallicA?" "James could do it!" "ask James to sing!" "why don't they ever have MetallicA on the show?" "that's not heavy metal, MetallicA, now that's heavy metal!"
especially when you're watching Spics and Specs, Rove, Video Hits, The Einstein Factor, or any music quiz show
When you make your sims listen to metallica
when you read all of these posts and think you should try some of them
when you're reading a mobile phone catalogue and comment on there being no metallica...
when you you're doing job training and you ask everyone in the group if they like/listen/love metallica
when you get a new phone and the first thing you put on it is pics of Metallica and Metallica ring tones
when you're home alone and you play MetallicA on the stereo over and over again all day to keep you company
when you wear a metallica t-shirt to a job interview (didn't, but wouldn't it be funny)
when you have a metallica flag outside your home instead of your country's flag lmao now that's funny
You know you've been listening to too much metallica when you make a sim town called Metallica Town and name all the sims after band members of metallica, and invent new names but still to do with metallica, and they wear metallica clothes and they have metallica wallpaper, and metallica furniture and metallica posters on the wall and listen to metallica and all their pets have metallica names, and you wish you could visit that town!
When you're running a word quiz for the elderly and you write the word M E T A L L I C A on the board and ask them to make words from that word, and then go on to explain who Metallica are, offer to bring in some cd's that they can listen to...
(is that mean)
when after all is said and done you still want to do what all the other members have posted
when you're so down you really believe that Metallica can fix everything
when you walking through a supermarket and you see the isle for batteries and you think it's an ad for Metallica's Battery and then you start singing Battery out loud
when you are so proud of starting a thread like this one, and think that James, Lars, Kirk and Rob know about it and love you for it!
MetallicA's songs start sounding shorter than they used to
MetallicA is sex
MetallicA feeds you
MetallicA is the one
MetallicA is better than chocolate
MetallicA is the first thing on your mind in the morning
MetallicA speaks for you
MetallicA is your blood
MetallicA is the answer
MetallicA have the answer
When you say ‘carpe diem baby’ instead of ‘Hasta Levista baby’
When your friends and family accuse you of stalking them
When you don’t need to turn on the stereo to hear their music
When you add them into any conversation
When you have a metallica costume:
RTL shirtRTL pajama pantsgiant RTL poster made of cloth as a capestick on James Hetfield handlebar mustacheblack shoes with metallica patches sewn onand to cap it off, a VIKING HELMET.
I wear it every Halloween, people call me Metallica Man
When you change everyones name in your cell phone to "ktulu" so you can see it say call from ktulu
When you have 4 different MetallicA websites open at the same time on different tabs.
When you introduce yourself to your new neighbours as a metallica fan
When your playing guitar you become James, and when playing drums, you become Lars
When you make a town for your sims called 'metallitown' and all the sims have to have metallica song titles as their first name and metallica as their last name so it looks like this, 'Bleeding Me Metallica' (how funny does that sound), and 'Mama Said Metallica' (hilarious), and instead of 'Of Wolf and Man' it could be 'Wolf Man Metallica' hahahahaha, and they all look like James, Lars, Kirk or Rob, even the women (well that's not actually possible, or is it....) and they all work in the entertainment career, and they listen to metallica songs, hahahahahahahahahaha oh dear
When you can 'smell' metallica being played from miles away
When planes sound like the start of a metallica song (Phantom Lord)
